", The man then pleads, Itâs your illusory ego that says shit is happening. Browne, American humorist (1834-67), Believe those who are seeking the truth. Spirituality is an integral part to make our life more meaningful. A: Someone who goes around knocking on doorsâwithout having anything in particular to say! Until then, don't do a thing. "Those are for the funeral. I donât want to think about this anymore. Youâre just jealous because the voices only talk to me. Physicist Werner Heisenberg: Abe says, "What are you, crazy? I was just reading here that the Pope doesâ. ", "So then?" How about a lunch after Ramadan is over? Joseph Campbell Click to tweet, Where there is charity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance. "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you. Thank you Raj. Letâs make a, The spirit guides say: âShit doth happen to, Repeat the affirmation: âI am shitless. GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. Yes, if: You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch--ain't no way out. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. I havenât gossiped, and I havenât lost my temper. The spirit guides say: âShit doth happen to us, too. If you can conquer tension without medical help. HOW TO SING THE BLUES: A PRIMER A man is walking down the fairly busy street and, unfortunately, has enjoyed himself a bit too much at the local barâs âHappy Hour.â Heâs in a fairly thick state of inebriation. Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati, Spiritual progress is like a detoxification. It is a way of looking boldly at this life we have been given, here, now, on earth, as this human being. Lovecraft: An aspiring yogi wanted to find a Guru. Hermann Hesse, You are awareness. Learn from it and let go. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? To be added to your emailing list, go to where it says “Free eBook for “15 Answers to Questions on Heaven, Hell, and End Time.” Do you see it on our main webpage? It may just be the beginning of a great adventure. "What do you do all day?" and 12 and 13. POWERFUL WORDS What is the âroadâ? Carl Jung, Let the breath lead the way. SCIENTOLOGY:* your expensive computer I have begun my formula for a Denver omelet. However, if in your own journey, you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. âDid you know that one Youngman of laughter -- approximately the mirth contained in the average one-liner -- can release up to a megahurt of emotional pain?â. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai. At the end of his talk, he asked, âWhere do you want to go?â. b. you blind The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." A little Jewish boy was telling his mother about how he had won a part in a play that was being done at school. Practice, After the funeral (for a close elder relative), my wife and children stayed home while I had to leave town for three days. ~ Watchman Neeeval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'whatchristianswanttoknow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_5',119,'0','0'])); Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not. Mencken), NOT GETTING THE JOKE It only looks that way. TOP 10 BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK AT WORK: 10. âI wasnât sleeping! One day two boys filled up a bucket with pecans and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. Send him up here.â Satan says, âNo way. ", How do these celebrities stay so impossibly thin? Q: How much "ego" do you need? You enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Martin Luther, You’ll be calm the day you learn to sit alone and do nothing. NOTHING âYou may think you are something, but that something is nothing. Marianne Williamson, What you meet in another being is the projection of your own level of evolution. In disappointment, the Emperor asked, âWhat kind of skill is that? âI saw my mother but, when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. One auditorium had a long line of people before it, and the sign over the entrance read: ", [The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. Shit = emptiness. Required fields are marked *, By using this form you agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. Once again, he refused, saying, "No, God will save me." In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. Steven Wright: "Oh my," he shuddered, "It's Satan and the Lord dividing the souls at the cemetery." --anonymous, We seem to have enough youth. Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other if they had their own rooms. -- Henny Youngman, My father never lived to see his dream come true of an all-Yiddish-speaking Canada. Carl Jung Click to tweet, The unexamined life is not worth living. After dinner, we go at it again until we fall asleep about 11 p.m.", Martha was somewhat taken aback. "To stop wishing," replied Allen. Adults sing the Blues. They visited kennel after kennel and explained their needs. * We don't change God's message - His message changes us. While a void is expressed in this recipe, I am struck by its inapplicability to the bourgeois lifestyle. (For the. X-Filesâ Scully: God is watching the apples.". So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. My pain and ultimate solitude are still as authentic as they were when I was thin, but seem to impress girls far less. No matter the storm, when you are with God, �there’s always a rainbow waiting. Albert Einstein, The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself. Wayne Dyer, Do anything, but let it produce joy. A woman with male pattern baldness is. The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. Minutes passed, then the girl spoke again. Two men meet on the street: âHow are you?â one asks. Four Jewish mothers are sitting together playing bridge. That's all. COMMANDMENTS We also sleep in separate beds. Morality is doing the right thing, regardless of what you are told. Shrii Shirr Anandamurti, Let what comes come. 1993. La ilaha illa Llah--thus say the Muslim Sufi saints.â From Hakim Sana'i, Sufi poet-saint, d.1131 (see Religion & Spirituality section for a long webpage on Sana'i and other spiritual masters. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. âWell, then,â she replied, âwas it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms?â, Zachary looked at his mother and said, âNo. Jesus paid your sin debt, ok? Once Moses and Jesus came down from heaven to play a round of golf on the most challenging course in the world. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." We went to a motel where I had sex with each of them three times. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. Then they heard the siren. What were your feelings about your mother? Why canât I own Canadians? Ludwig van Beethoven, We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. âPlease be driving not so rapidly, Mr. Pope,â pleaded the worried driver, but the Pope kept the pedal to the metal. Ram Dass, Perform all work carefully, guided by compassion. Perhaps man is not meant to know... [â¦]. Blues is not a matter of color. HATHA YOGA:* I am encouraged, but my journey is still long. One day two boys filled up a bucket with pecans and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. We pray that no more shit will happen. But the fact remains that if you were sleeping in your own bed, you would have found the gravy ladle by now.â, CONVERSION Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited-until you try to get into their pews. Marianne Williamson, Reach for a thought that feels better. Getting onto the plane, I was so depressed, I said a prayer: âLord, Iâm so down; youâve got to send me someone to inspire me or give me encouragement.â Well, I kid you not, just 30 seconds after saying that prayer, as I get onto that plane and get back to my seat, there seated right beside me is a priest!âI could tell, he was wearing one of those white collars. It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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